How can you not read an article with this title?

We came across this one in the August 20th, 1903 Washington Post.

B. F. Chew, who runs a Chinese restaurant on Thirty-second street, near M street northwest, created no little excitement last evening by chasing a man who refused to pay for chop suey. About 11 o’clock Chew rushed out of his shop in hot pursuit of a fleeing customer, and excitedly blowing a police whistle. He chased his man up M street until the latter finally put on a spurt and disappeared in the darkness, leaving Chew to lament his misfortune.